


Paradise by the Dashboard Light

by JustADeadGirlWriting



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bonfires, Dancing, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, Other, Party, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reader-Insert, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Romance, no one died
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23185204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustADeadGirlWriting/pseuds/JustADeadGirlWriting
Summary: There is a small celebration on base and Reader tries to get Ben to attend the party for fun and dancing but he doesn't feel welcome. When he does get convinced to go, things start to get a little intimate when dancing with one another at the bonfire before it starts to get heated aboard the Falcon. First Kiss. First Time.- NSFW, but will be SFW up until 'I'm sure the book can wait.' comment so stop there if you don't want to read the NSFW content!Inspired by 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' by Meatloaf.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Paradise by the Dashboard Light

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!  
> I actually do creative writing as part of my degree so any feedback is welcome and I hope you enjoy my fic!!  
> Recommended listening for the dancing scenes is 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' - Meatloaf as that was the song that inspired this piece, I'm not sure why but it did!
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you liked it, hopefully I will be inspired to write more <3

‘Ben! Ben, come on! It’ll be fun, I promise.’ you called, walking around the corridors of the Millennium Falcon. He was clearly hiding from you. It’s not that you weren’t good friends, if anything you were _incredibly_ fond of him, but he was without a doubt avoiding you this time. There was supposed to be a small party at the Resistance base that night, a celebration of sorts since the last recon mission had been beyond a success and the generals thought it would be a good way for everyone to blow off some steam. It felt as though everyone had made a conscious effort to make more happy memories with each other after Leia’s passing. You were excited, it wasn’t often that you got to just relax and have a good time with the people you cared about, especially nowadays since there was almost always more work to be done. However, there was still one person who was adamant about not wanting to enjoy himself and you’d be damned if he was going to sit in the cockpit and sulk for another evening like he did during the last party.  
Your footsteps echoed slightly as you went, tracing your fingers along the ageing grey walls. Ben lived in the Falcon on the base, since it was unanimously, but somewhat begrudgingly, decided that it should belong to him after he joined the Resistance just over a year ago. Of course, his joining caused absolute chaos. The majority of the fighters didn’t want him there, which he knew was more than understandable considering, well, _Everything_. Some of them spat in his direction because they knew he wouldn’t retaliate, or moved away from him so quickly he expected them to stumble over their own legs, or what was even worse was when they spoke about the things he had done loud enough for him to hear. He knew he couldn’t escape that. But that was what made him feel the worst. Still, there were a few people that fought for him to stay; those who believed in him and those who didn’t want to lose the last thing Leia had left in this world. This wasn’t enough to stop Ben from feeling unwanted in the cause, so even though he stayed in the Resistance, he mostly kept himself to himself and rarely left the Falcon unless he had to for missions and briefings. He either spent most of his time alone, talking to the small handful of people that wanted to associate with him or practising in the woods. You pitied him, even though everyone said you weren’t supposed to. You just couldn’t help it. You wanted to make him smile, he always made your heart flutter and you longed to see him happy. A small shuffle could be heard in the distance, followed by a metallic clang and an ‘ow.’ _Found him_ , you thought.  
‘Ben?’ you asked again, moving closer to where the sound came from. The fact he was hiding from you told you that he already knew why you were there. You heard a sigh and Ben stepped out from behind one of the doors. You smiled at him and he returned what looked like the ghost of what could have been a smile back in response. It would have been a lie to say you didn’t find him handsome, but there was something about the black t-shirt, dark cargo pants and high boots that would have almost made you stutter if you didn’t compose yourself at the last minute.  
‘So that’s where you were. I knew you were hiding from me!’ You joked, gesturing vaguely to behind the door. He nodded but furrowed his brows slightly before beginning to speak himself.  
‘I just don’t think I should go. No one is going to want me there.’ Ben turned to lock the door he had come through and cocked his head, inviting you to walk with him. You had no idea where you were going but you’d quite happily go anywhere _he_ invited you to.  
‘That’s not true. I want you there.’ You pleaded.  
‘No one else does. I think I’ll just be in the way of other people trying to forget about people like me.’ He sounded a bit defeated, the tone of his voice tugging at your chest.  
‘Once again, not true. You have to give them a chance to warm to you first-’ You started but had to pause for a break in the middle of your sentence to catch your breath. Ben walked very fast since his legs were so long and he could sometimes be rather difficult to keep up with. ‘This could be a good opportunity to socialise!’  
‘They’ll feel on edge. It doesn’t matter anyway, I have reading to do. I’ve also been sent out to a planet in the Viodet system, I won’t be back until late even if I’m in Hyperspeed. It’s too far.’ The tall man led you both to the main living space of the Falcon where he started to set up his work things on the table alongside the frozen game of Dejarik. One side was very clearly on its way to losing.  
‘Were you playing with Chewie?’ You asked, investigating the gently glitching figures.  
‘Ah, yeah. He cheats.’ Ben replied, glancing up slightly to look between you and the board.  
‘Oh definitely. Big time.’ The words chimed out of your mouth, trying to not make it sound like a big deal that he had begun to reconnect properly with Chewbacca. You knew it meant a lot to Ben and didn’t want to embarrass him by bringing it up. It made you feel warm that the two were able to enjoy each other’s company again, even if neither one can truly ever move on from what happened in the past. You stayed and talked with Ben for the next hour or so, lightly sprinkling in the suggestion that he should make an appearance at the party every now and then, until he finished his paperwork and needed to get ready to leave for the Viodet system. You said goodbye and waved Ben off from outside the Millennium Falcon, smiling as you watched him return it with a small, slightly awkward looking wave. You imagined he looked far more comfortable in the cockpit of the Falcon then he ever did in his Tie Silencer.  
  
-  
  
In order to have the celebrations later, all of the day’s work had to be completed early. This meant that the entire base was running on twice the normal speed and it was flooded with a half stressful half excitable atmosphere as everyone was frantic to get their work finished. Your role was with telecommunications so even though it wasn’t typically the most interesting of roles, it suited you well. On occasion, your subconscious wandered to Ben and what he must be doing, how he was feeling, or if he was thinking about you too. In a friend way, _of course_. You did like him, you had already had to, at the very least, reason that fact with yourself. But, you didn’t think he was ready to move into that kind of relationship with someone yet. He had too much to forgive himself for first. Ben needed time and patience more than anything. You had always told yourself that whatever happened between the two of you, you would let Ben make the first move if he wanted to so that it would be on his terms. It meant that you had been suppressing your feelings for him for a while but you told yourself it was better to just be his friend and someone that he could trust, that was enough for you right now.   
Since you didn’t have as much work to do today as other people you started prepping different decorations and food for the evening. The Resistance did not exactly have the budget to spare for such frivolities, so it was rather a homemade and make-do party with members providing what they can and everyone being grateful for it. Several people pooled their saved credits to buy alcohols and liquors to be shared, which itself was a rarity at that point. For your own share, you went to the base kitchens with an armful of ingredients you had gotten in advance to make a dish named Oantcrab soup that you had enjoyed on your own planet in your youth. It wasn’t exactly a complicated dish but it was hearty and could feed a lot of people, so it seemed ideal since you weren’t a brilliant cook by any means. You took your time cutting the seafoods you had gathered and listening to the snaps and various crunches of the vegetables, it probably seemed a bit weird to an outsider, but it wasn’t often that you got to have such fresh food on the base so it was a small joy to have. By the time the food was ready and stored away for the cooks to look after, it was time to get ready.  
Of course, this wasn’t going to be an extravagant affair by anyone’s standard but it still felt special enough that you wanted to look nice for it. Appearances don’t exactly hold out for much in the Resistance, so the ‘nice’ was essentially a warm shower, brushed hair and a couple of little luxuries you had gathered such a small bottle of perfume, your mother’s old hair grip and a small handful of flowers that you had planned to tuck behind your ear.  
Whilst getting ready, you thought of Ben. It not only made you sad that he wasn’t going to the party, but mainly that he felt he really wasn’t wanted there in the first place despite all the efforts he had made to be a part of the Resistance. He couldn’t change his past but the weight of it was drowning the chance of a present and, most importantly, a future. _I’ll definitely get him to go to the next one_ , you thought to yourself as you yanked through the tangles in your hair.  
  
The bustle of the barracks got even more excitable as people started to hear music playing outside as Generals Poe and Finn were yelling for people to start enjoying themselves and to ‘take a load off’ for a bit. As if at once, everyone swarmed out into the open spaces to celebrate under the illuminating stars, billions upon billions of them. It was beautiful. There were warm orange lanterns hanging off various parts of X-wings and the cooks had brought out long tables and lined them up with all the food that had been prepared. Many people made a beeline for the tables which had several interesting looking alcohols sat upon them. When your curiosity got the better of you, you went to investigate them yourself and was handed a bright blue drink with tiny orange fireworks coming out of it. It wasn’t your first time having alcohol, but definitely your first time having one so pretty. They were being handed out in very small glasses that looked undersized even in your hand and you couldn’t help but think of how ridiculously tiny it would look in Ben’s huge hands, especially in comparison to his generally large stature. It was a sweet thought. _If only he was here._   
As the evening progressed, you watched as people happily ate, talked and danced some of their many, many worries away. It felt so good to see people enjoying themselves when they rarely had good things to celebrate in their day to day lives. It was hopeful. You met up with your friends and shared the food, joked and drank a few more of the odd looking drinks; not enough to be drunk, just enough to feel a little more relaxed than what Resistance base life would typically allow.  
Eventually, you decided you had to run back to your barracks to change your shoes into more comfortable boots. Initially, you had tried to wear a newer, cleaner pair but they were rubbing on your ankles and would have made it too uncomfortable to dance in. You practically ran through the thin trees because you couldn’t bare to be away from the life of the party for too long and if you hadn’t happened to glance at the _exact_ right moment you would have missed it. The Millennium Falcon. But Ben said he wouldn’t be back, so what was the Falcon doing at the base? _And hidden, for that matter._ The party would have to wait as you changed direction, inching towards the ship. After squinting through the trees, you realised you could see Ben sitting in the cockpit watching the party, looking mournful. You had to stop, it hurt your heart to see him with such an expression. It took him until you were practically underneath the window to notice you were there, at which point you watched him stand up and leave. For a second, you were afraid he was just going to go back to his room and not let you talk to him but instead he opened the lower hatch of the Falcon and came out.  
‘What are you doing here, Ben?’ You blurted out, half in surprise.  
‘I, uhm, came back early.’ He replied, trailing his eyes over you; the same ghost of a smile that you saw earlier returning. ‘You look…nice.’ He reached a hand up to the flowers behind your ear.  
‘Oh, thank you-’ you stumbled, he had caught you completely off guard and caused the blood to rush unceremoniously to your cheeks. ‘So do you.’  
Ben had changed his clothes. They were still of a similar fashion to what he wore that same morning but they were definitely cleaner. He had showered too; you could tell since his hair looked particularly soft and a little bit bouncy. It was most definitely a good look for him. _Was he….?_ You looked him up and down.  
‘Ben. Were you planning to come to the party?’ You asked. It wasn’t as though you were planning to put him on the spot like that but you spoke before you had considered a more delicate phrasing. He looked down at the floor with his hands behind his back, swaying slightly.  
‘I was giving it some thought, since you insisted, but people seemed to be having a good time. I didn’t want to interrupt.' ‘You wouldn’t be interrupting anything! You’re more than invited, come back with me. There are so many different foods and drinks to try, everyone’s dancing and having fun!’ You pleaded again, holding out an arm to gesture for him to walk alongside you. He hesitated.   
‘Please, Ben. It’ll be good for you…’ you eventually trailed off, dropping your arm. Your gaze dropped too, it was a little bit disappointing being rejected again but you understood why he didn’t want to go and you couldn’t force him anyway. Still, you weren’t able to stop the sadness washing over your face. It hurt. Suddenly, you felt a warm, coarse hand envelop your own as you were tugged back in the direction from which you had came. Your eyes traced along his shoulder, down his arm and settled on your hands clasped in one another.  
‘I’ll go. If it will keep you as happy as you were when you were dancing by the fire, I’ll go.’ Ben looked straight ahead but even in the darkness you could see a slight tinge of red dusting his cheeks. As your yourself, you were almost scared that he was going to feel the speed of your pulse through your wrist. It was racing. The thumping echoed around in your head, ricocheting off your skull as you couldn’t believe what was happening. He was holding your hand. _Ben_ was holding _your_ hand. Did it mean anything? Or was he just trying to make an effort to be social? You hadn’t even considered what he had said alongside it. _Dancing by the fire_ , you thought, _was he…was he watching me?_ A small part of you wanted to ask him exactly that but you stopped yourself out of embarrassment for both you and him, you didn’t want to spoil this moment. It felt…special.   
He stopped walking just a few metres behind the line of trees, which caused you to almost trip into him from the sudden halt. The celebrations illuminated his profile and you couldn’t help but think how beautiful he was in that second. He always looked nice but there was something particularly princely about him then. You could tell he was nervous about actually entering the party, so you took the initiative and helped him cross the final hurdle by in turn pulling _him_ forward instead.   
  
\-   
  


The first ten or so minutes of Ben being at the party went over rather quietly. There were a couple of people who snuck unkind glances at him or moved away from the two of you but you tried to reassure him that he was still welcome and wanted there. You took him over to the food first, jokingly hinting that he should try to Oantcrab soup you had made, which he did, and then you took him over to the drinks table. There were definitely fewer drinks than there had been previously but Ben didn’t seem to mind too much as he drank two practically straight away to ‘settle his nerves’ a little, since he had never been good around people. You understood what he meant as you had been very much the same. Much to your relief, Ben did seem a bit more relaxed after his drinks and you each helped yourselves to another before leaving the table and making your way over to a bench to listen to the music.  
‘It’s nice.’ he began. ‘I’ve never really been to anything like this.’ The usually solemn man continued, looking between you and the bonfire.  
‘Are you enjoying it, though?’ You asked, the night was already better than you could have hoped for but seeing Ben enjoy himself too would have made it almost unreal.  
‘I am.’ Ben placed his hand down on the bench between you, maybe even slightly over halfway. He was leaning back on the bench with his drink in the other hand resting on top of his leg. Now you had come to think of it, this was probably the most relaxed you’d ever seen him and you couldn’t tell if your heart was calming down or speeding up, but there was most definitely a fluttering beat thumping against your chest. He looked so beautiful in the firelight, it warmed his dark eyes and hair, making them appear almost chocolate in the glowing heat. It felt as though your body moved on its own; tempting fate. You put your hand down next to where Ben’s was, only a few millimetres away and turned your gaze towards the fire. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the man’s head turn ever so slightly to look at the hands between the two of you before he turned back towards the fire. The sickening feeling of anxiety started to creep in around the edges that perhaps you had misread the situation, or that you were making Ben uncomfortable or that you had ruined the friendsh- _Oh._ His hand moved, taking yours in his own once again. After the few seconds it took to process what had happened, you turned your hand to hold the larger one properly. Neither of you said anything, but you heard Ben sigh when he realised you had returned his touch and he dropped the tension in his shoulders. After another moment, Ben drank the rest of his drink and you did the same. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence and you were happy enough to watch your many friends dancing. Besides, it gave Ben a little bit of time to process things because if this was a lot for you, it must have been so much more for him. No one seemed to be paying any attention to either of you, too wrapped up in their own fun and drunkenness to care. Ben gave your hand a little squeeze.  
‘Are you okay?’ He seemed tentative to speak so you reassured him that you were perfectly fine and that you hoped he was too. For as long as you had known Ben so far, he had never had a way with words but you understood that he was feeling a lot more than he expressed when he said he was also ‘good’.  
‘Do you want to come and dance?’ you asked him and he paused, ‘I don’t want to dance on my own and it’s not often we all get together in the open air for fun.’   
‘I don’t really think I’m one for dancing.’ Ben answered, looking very firmly rooted to the spot.   
‘It’ll be fine if we dance together, no one is watching and I’m sure that you’re not any worse than me!’ you joked, pulling Ben to his feet in the process. He definitely seemed hesitant, but he gripped your hand in a way that felt as though he was terrified of letting go now that he finally had it so close.   
You pulled him through the crowd interweaving throughout the different people dancing, trying to find a space comfortable enough for the both of you to fit since he wasn’t exactly a man of small build. After a short while you found an opening pretty close to the fire, not enough to be uncomfortably warm, just enough to keep off the night’s chilly air. Ben looked incredibly awkward, most likely wishing he could either escape back to the Falcon or had had the chance to have a few more drinks before he had been dragged out to the makeshift dance floor. However, now that you had him, you weren’t going to let him run away so easily. Telling him to relax would be pointless so you figured it would be best to just help him by making him feel less embarrassed. The band were playing a pretty up beat song so you started swaying and moving your connected arms to the tune of the music. You looked up and grinned at him, and was so pleasantly surprised to find that he was already smiling down at you. A soft, warm smile. Your heart skipped a sudden beat and you wondered if this is how he looked when he had been watching you dance from the Falcon’s cockpit. You grabbed his other hand and started moving that in beat with the other, effectively making him sway too. Of course, Ben still looked massively awkward and a little out of place but you could tell he was trying so what did it matter if you embarrassed yourself a little if it meant he could relax.  
‘No one is looking at us, don’t worry.’ You said as you started to move a little faster, kicking up your legs a little in the dusty soil and moving your body more freely. Ever so slowly, Ben started to move his body a little more too. It may have been just because you were physically so close to him but you couldn’t help to trace your eyes over his body: its size, the way it moved, how good he looked in that black t-shirt. You had to stop yourself from staring and to just live in the moment, reminding yourself that if anything was going to happen; it was going to happen at Ben’s discretion. _Oh, but his hands feel so safe,_ you thought to yourself before remembering, again, to behave. Ben was still smiling at you dancing, he definitely wasn’t dancing with the same level of enthusiasm as you were attempting to, but he was trying in his own way and he _did_ seem to be loosening up a little as the song progressed into another. You two of you were that way for a while, just getting comfortable with one another’s bodies and with being in the same space like that. You both danced that way for such a time that you could feel the sweat between your palms start to grow warm but you were too absorbed in Ben’s gaze to care, his dark eyes trailed your every move.  
Over the course of next twenty minutes or so, other people started to drift back to the food, drinks and benches. You were starting to get a little tired of dancing and was about to suggest to Ben that you each go and get something else to drink but he let go of your hands before you had the chance. They moved to your waist.  
‘Ben?’ You must have looked confused because a glint of panic flickered across Ben’s face.  
‘Oh, I’m sorry- do you not-’ He started sheepishly but you cut him off.   
‘I do! I do, I just don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, that’s all.’ You stumbled out, afraid he was going to take his hands away.  
‘Ah. Okay. I’m not uncomfortable around you.’ Ben replied, moving his gaze away for a second, most likely out of nervousness for admitting something that was, to him, so intimate.   
‘That’s good to hear.’ You laughed trying to return to the fun atmosphere, and after a moment you pushed your hands up against his chest and onto his shoulders as you both continued to dance under a much closer proximity. You were relieved that you never got the chance to suggest moving. Although, this meant that you found yourself at a bit of a loss on how to physically act. You had wanted to be closer to Ben, and now you were; but you had always built walls to stop yourself from getting _too_ close to him but Ben, himself, had broken them down within the course of just a night and you just couldn’t stop the racing of your heartbeat. Maybe his was racing too. The music was still upbeat but your bodies were a little more in-tune with each other from to the closeness of your chests. He still didn’t entirely dance, but he moved in a similar way to you and kept his hands tightly on your waist, not wanting to let you go. You moved one way and Ben moved the other, both of your legs kicking up the dry soil beneath you. You didn’t want to allow yourself to read into the moment too much, but you wanted to remember this exact second for as long as you lived. Dancing with Ben below the starry sky next to a warm, glowing fire. It was a dream. Maybe you _could_ let yourself openly fall in love with him, because in this moment you most definitely were. Yes, you definitely loved Ben Solo.   
You looked up into his eyes, slowing your movements. He did the same. You knew what you wanted to do, and Ben seemed to know it as well. As you moved onto your tip toes, Ben pulled you up to him by the waist and kissed you gently. It was soft, warm, and safe. The two of you remained like that for a few more seconds before you dropped yourself back down to normal height. You were smiling. When Ben opened his eyes again, he seemed to want to read your face before he let himself react to it, to make sure that you were happy with what had happened before he let himself be happy about it too. He smiled, properly smiled. You absolutely and entirely melted. You couldn’t believe that this night had happened. Ben had such a kind smile; you hadn’t realised he had sweet little dimples before now. You reached a hand up from his shoulder and cupped his face, stroking his cheek softly with your thumb. You could lightly feel the tips of his dark curls, they were so much softer than you were expecting.  
‘I’ve been hoping that would happen for a while.’ You had the sudden confidence to admit.   
‘If I knew that, I would have done it earlier.’ He breathed out, chuckling towards the end of what he had said.   
  
After the kiss, the two of you went back to dancing for a few more songs since the music was slower now as the party was winding down for the evening. The dancing was a lot closer, softer than it had been beforehand; mainly consisting of swaying and hand holding but Ben just seemed so much more happier, you could almost feeling it radiating off him. He deserved this happiness, he had been through so much. Every time you remembered the kiss, happy tears threatened to spill over your cheeks. Ben had been feeling the same way as you and had been to scared to lose you if he had acted wrongly about it.  
Eventually you both got too tired of the party to continue and began to feel a bit drained, Ben especially. It was a huge thing for him to come and be so social and you were sure he had used up all the emotions he could manage to process for the evening. He gingerly took your hand, offering to walk you back to the barracks for the night before he returned to the Falcon.   
‘Are you glad you came, Ben?’ You asked as you walked together. You couldn’t stop smiling, there was practically a spring in your step as you went along. Ben felt the same, his grin had settled into a smile at that point.  
‘Of course, I had a good time. It was very-’ he tried to find the right word, ‘eye-opening.’ He almost let out a small laugh, giving your hand a squeeze. The walk to the barracks seemed much shorter than you had thought, and you found yourself not wanting to leave Ben’s company so soon. Even with this newfound intimacy, however innocent, Ben was still a friend you loved spending time. He sensed you were hesitant to say goodnight and offered an alternative.  
‘You can come back and sit up with me for a bit, if you’d like. I don’t think I’m going to sleep just yet.’ He smiled, raising his eyebrows in a cocky manner. You loved this happier, slightly more confident, Ben and wished he could be this way forever.  
‘Are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding? I thought you wanted to do some _reading_ tonight.’ You jokingly retorted, emphasising that he was going back on himself by inviting you over.  
‘I’m sure the book can wait.’

**\- NSFW WARNING**  
  
Soon after, you found yourself in the Millennium Falcon’s cockpit. Obviously, there were many other places to sit inside of the Falcon, but you figured that Ben enjoyed being able to look out the window and sit in the pilot’s seat. He had told you on one occasion that he had always wanted to pilot the ship but had to wait many, many years before he was able to actually do so. He kept it relatively clean aside from the occasional mud he tracked through or coffee he spilled, so you could tell he cared greatly for the Falcon. You’d already been here many times so you were comfortable enough to just sit around and wait for Ben to do what he needed to do before he came to sit down. He had brought you a drink from the kitchen and then excused himself for a couple of minutes and had not returned yet. If anything, it gave you a quick breather to think about everything that happened. The night had gone better than you could have ever possibly imagined it could have. In the brief chance you had gotten to know Han, his father, before he died; you could see Ben had most definitely inherited the Solo genetics in being a bit of a flirt when the mood struck him. With Ben, it appeared much more subtle and a little anxious, but he was still undeniably his father’s son. You had recognised it in Ben’s cocky eyebrow raise and found yourself touching your lips at the memory.  
‘What are you thinking about there?’ The deep voice interrupted; he had clearly seen what you had been doing.  
‘Nothing! Nothing for you to concern yourself with, _Ben!’_ To say you were blushing would have been a slight understatement.   
‘Is that right? Well, anyway. I just came to ask if you wanted to spend the night here because I imagine the barracks are going to pretty erh- noisy, tonight.’ He laughed softly before rushing to add ‘I can set up a bed in one of the spare rooms. I wasn’t suggesting any-’  
‘It’s okay, I get it! Don’t worry, but yeah, I’d appreciate that actually. I know you don’t stay in the barracks but trust me, I’ve seen some horror stories. The chance to sleep somewhere quite sounds great.’ You quickly added to try and save him the embarrassment. You noticed Ben turned very, very red and left not long after, leaving you to put your head in your hands at the very thought of what he had accidentally implied. You weren’t entirely sure how much Ben could do with the Force, since you didn’t understand too much about it, but God, you hoped he couldn’t read your mind in that moment. You started fanning at your face in a feeble attempt to cool yourself before he came back. It’s not that you hadn’t thought about stuff like that before but you had spent so long pushing off those thoughts in regards to Ben specifically; so when _he_ was the one who mentioned it, the thoughts caught you off guard. They were not, by _any_ means, unpleasant but you were a touch worried about getting ahead of yourself.  
  
He returned a couple of minutes later, saying that he’d set up a room and you were welcome to use it if you wanted, to which you were very grateful. The tall man seemed to hover for a few seconds before sitting down on the seat next to you, he looked a little tense so you tried to talk the awkwardness out of the situation. You asked him about his trip to the Viodet system and what he had gotten up to, about his training and anything else you could think of off the top of your head. He took your hand mid-sentence and held it clasped within is own on top of his thigh. This movement almost caused you to stutter your words but you managed to remain composed for a moment whilst the two of you continued talking. You weren’t sure at what point he started rubbing your hand with his thumb but you couldn’t help but melt when you realised it was happening. The two of you sat that way for some time, lost in conversation for another hour or so until you couldn’t help but stifle a yawn.   
‘Oh, I didn’t mean to keep you up. I can show you to the room I set up if you want. There’s already toiletries in there, it’s only a ration one but it’s better than nothing.’ He said as he stood up, you couldn’t help but admire the height difference at this angle.  
‘Thank you for putting me up for the night, I don’t imagine I would have gotten any sleep in the barracks since other people won’t be doing much sleeping either.’ You laughed, rising to your feet with your hand still enveloped in Ben’s.  
You walked back through the corridors of the Falcon, trailing slightly behind Ben. He knew these corridors like the back of his own hand, it was obvious how he cared for them. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence as he led you towards your room. He stopped outside and turned, leaning up the wall opposite the door.  
‘Everything should be in there…’ He seemed as though he had more to say but was struggling to find the words, ‘Can I…’  
‘Of course.’ You whispered back, so he pulled you closer. Ben looked a little nervous and you swore you could see his hand shaking slightly as he tilted your head upwards. As soon as he placed his lips on yours, you realised how deprived you felt of that soft warmness since your last kiss just hours earlier. Without realising you were doing so, you slid your arms around his neck and buried your fingertips in his dark curls as your lips moved against his. Tentatively, he slid his tongue against your parted lips, asking for permission which you immediately granted. You lost yourself in the kiss, in Ben. He was so gentle, understanding as you moved with each other. He pulled you closer with his free hand so that your body was pressed up against his as he lent back on the wall. A small moan escaped your lips when you felt Ben’s breath hitch in his throat. Clearly, he was having as good a time as you were. It was all new territory, but it was evident that he was getting a little more confident as he began to deepen the kiss. He spun the both of you around so instead _you_ were the one with your back pressed upon the corridor wall, his one arm grabbing you at the waist and the other with his forearm on the wall above you. The flowers that had been tucked behind your ear now lay forgotten on the floor, not that you minded at that point. You couldn’t lie, Ben having you pinned against a wall was really turning you on.  
The kiss became more desperate as you tightened your grip on his hair and one of his legs went between yours. You pulled away for a second to gasp for air before going almost straight back into it. Now you had felt Ben this way, you didn’t want to stop; and neither did he. Lightly, you bit at his lower lip and in return he touched the bare strip of skin that had become exposed at your waist, sending shivers up your spine. Ben seemed to enjoy this reaction and moved away from your lips for a second to kiss feverishly down the side of your next neck, wanting to see what other reactions he could invoke. He got cocky, choosing a point between your neck and shoulder and putting his mouth, and eventually teeth, on it: producing a dark purple mark by the time he was through. You couldn’t help but moan audibly into his ear. After a few more minutes of the beautiful torture, you felt something hard against the side of your leg. You broke off the kiss for a few seconds, leaving you both panting. Ben leaned to rest his forehead on your shoulder, not wanting to make eye contact.  
‘Ben… you’re...’ You whispered breathlessly.  
‘I know, don’t worry about it… I’m not expecting you to do anything .’ He breathed back, sounding a little embarrassed. You swallowed, deciding what to do. You were so turned on that your thighs had started to ache and you weren’t sure you would be _able_ to sleep now even if you had wanted to, you wanted to keep touching Ben;  
‘I know it’s a bit fast, but I’m okay with it if you are.’  
‘I don’t… want to take advantage of you.’ Ben sighed, preparing to move himself away.  
‘You’re not, I want to do it.’ You said, with enough conviction that he couldn’t doubt your commitment despite your own embarrassment of never being in this situation before.  
Ben sighed into your neck, ‘I do too.'  
‘Shall we move somewhere else then?’ You asked and as soon as the last word left your mouth, Ben already had his strong arms underneath your legs to pick you up bridal style. He went right back into passionately kissing you as he carried you through the corridor, missing the door to the room you were supposed to be spending the night in.  
In between the kisses you asked, ‘Where are we going?’.  
Ben barely stopped kissing you long enough to mumble back a response of ‘my room’ and it made your heart skip another beat and your thighs tense, you couldn’t believe what was happening but you absolutely did not, under any circumstances, want it to stop.  
  
-  
  
Ben’s room was too dark to really see anything as he carried you in, not that it mattered at that point anyway. He placed you down into the middle of the large bed, pulled off his t-shirt and climbed on top of you. While you were also thankful for the darkness since you were a bit self-conscious of your own body, you wished you had the chance to admire Ben’s. He must have sensed you were tentative to touch his bare skin because he whispered ‘it’s okay’ before starting to undo your shirt slightly to kiss around your collarbones, slowly leading onto your chest. As he did this, you took his lead and lightly traced the slopes and dips of his shoulders, arms and back while sighing under the touch of his lips.  
After a few more moments Ben had your shirt undone but struggled to do the same with your bra, meaning that you got to laugh at him for a second before undoing it in his stead. He muttered a comment about it being too dark to see anything anyway and continued moving upwards to kiss you, using one hand to support himself and the other to caress your chest. It was noticeable, to you at least, that Ben was more confident in the dark and you figured it mostly down to the fact that he couldn’t be seen, so didn’t have to hide his emotions so much. You shuddered as his warm hand touched your skin so freely, you could have never even imagined that even _that_ would feel as good as Ben was making it. Perhaps the darkness wasn’t so bad, you could always just _feel_ your way around. Both of your hands returned back into gripping the man’s hair as he moved to kiss at your chest, abdomen and waist. One of his hands dropped to where your trousers began and he looked up, making sure you were happy for him to do this. You were. You were so, so happy for him to do this. It took another helping hand to get your trousers off since you also had to take your boots off too but soon everything was discarded on the floor, leaving you in just your underwear. Ben took everything except for his boxers off and even in the dark, the outline of his body was impeccable.  
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ He asked again in a hushed tone.  
‘Definitely.’ You replied, pulling him down on top of you as if you prove your point. As the kissing resumed, you moved your free hand up his tensed thigh and across the material of his boxers, lightly touching the side of his erection. He was showing you so much attention and you were desperate to give some back. This was a first for you, since there wasn’t exactly time for romance in the Resistance. You had always assumed instinct would take over but you had never seen, let alone touched, a dick. It appeared that this was going to be something you just had to learn as you went along as you curled your fingers around the shaft through the fabric, moving slowly up and down; earning a heated grunt from Ben in response. You couldn’t judge by comparison, but you could tell that Ben was pretty big and somehow getting bigger. _Is that going to…fit?_ You wondered briefly but had your thoughts interrupted by Ben moaning into your neck before he went back into biting and leaving lovebites where he had done so earlier.  
You figured that if he enjoyed what you were doing, he might enjoy it even more if you were to do it underneath the fabric. Slipping your fingers beneath his waistline, you grabbed his bare dick in your hand and began moving in a similar fashion. You hadn’t expected Ben to enjoy it that much as he bit down on your shoulder, causing you both to moan. It felt so good to hold him like this that you were sad to see him move away after a few minutes like that, but he moved to pull your own underwear down so you knew there was _much_ more to come. He moved to lay down on his stomach, grabbing and kissing at your thighs with hunger. Ben rested his head just on top of your navel, looking up at you. It felt a little weird being so naked with another person, but you trusted Ben, wholeheartedly. You trusted him when he was just a friend, and you trusted him even more now that you felt so vulnerable.  
‘You’ll have to show me how you like it, I haven’t done this before.’ He admitted, looking a little embarrassed.  
‘That’s okay, it’s my first time too.’ You cupped under his face, whispering back. The innocence of it all melted your heart, you felt like a pair of sweethearts. He smiled into your hand, kissing your palm before returning to kiss your thighs. You couldn’t stop your legs shaking in anticipation even though he had barely touched you. He moved your legs a little further apart and began kissing up and down your entrance, the sensation caused you to screw your hands into balls on top of his bedsheets. He started to use his tongue more, alternating between different movements while still squeezing your thighs at times and you couldn’t help but throw your hands into his hair. You had never felt anything like it, it was so new and wonderful and you were so thankful to be experiencing it with Ben. It was such a relief to finally be able to express your feelings for him. He listened to your moans and adapted what he was doing in accordance to it, he truly wanted to make you feel good and was more than willing to give you the attention to make it happen. You were thankful that there was no one else aboard the Falcon because you weren’t sure you were able to muffle your whimpers brilliantly, his tongue just felt _too_ good.  
Not long after, you felt something begin to tighten in your abdomen. The constant movement of his tongue against you made the pressure build and build until you were practically crying for release. As you felt your finish nearing, you couldn’t help but squeeze his head between your thighs and grab at his dark curls. Ben was gentlemanly in giving you what you wanted and yet still so ruthless at the same time with how he pushed you closer and closer to the edge until he eventually hit the _exact_ right spot and the tension realised, bursting you into an orgasm.  
‘A-ah! Ben…’ you moaned his name, you couldn’t stop your legs from shaking and Ben had to help you steady them for a moment. He was hopeful that he had done a good job, but seeing you look so content and blissful cemented that fact for him. He crawled up towards you and laid on your chest to give you a chance to recover. You sat letting out soft sighs as you curled your fingertips around his hair until you told him you were ready to continue, at which point he took his boxers off. Being polite and a bit worried, he asked you once again if you were sure you wanted to continue. Of course, you were.  
Tentatively, he slid a singular finger partway inside of you. You were right, Ben was rather well-endowed and it was apparent that he wasn’t going to be able to ‘slide right in’ like you had heard was capable from gossip in the barracks. You were already sensitive, but even his finger felt good as he curled it before continuing to add a second. The addition of the second finger caused you to begin moaning again, which Ben took as a sign to pick up speed. Several kisses were shared and you whimpered when he moved away from kissing to get himself into position above.  
‘Are you certain you want this?’ Ben asked once again. He was still a little nervous that perhaps you had changed your mind, that you didn’t want this or even want _him._ How could you let Ben know how worthy of love and reciprocation he was? You knew he was scared that the two of you had moved too fast, and honestly you were a little scared of it too, but you trusted Ben and had already fought off the urges to love him for too long. You were entirely ready to fall. _  
‘I do.’_ You whispered, leaning up to kiss his form as he hovered above you. He nodded slightly, using one of his hands to try and guide his member into place. Since it was both of your first times, you had to help him a little before Ben pushed slowly into you.  
He had only put the tip in but the pain was still sharp and you took a quick intake of breath. Ben had done a good job in loosening you up beforehand and he couldn’t exactly help that he was blessed with a lot to work with down there but panic set in his features when he realised he was hurting you. Ben tried to pull away so you had to tell him to stay and just hold it there for a second so you could adjust. He was still worried and planted small, butterfly kisses along the exposed skin he could reach until you told him it was okay to keep moving. At first, it was a bit of a slow process because there was _a lot_ to adjust to, but Ben was patient and as gentle as he could be with you until the whole of his length was in. When he was completely inside of you from tip to base, the man couldn’t help but groan quietly in your ear.  
‘Let me know when you’re ready for me to move.’ His deep voice was huskier than usual, the sensation of his hot breath on your neck giving you goosebumps. The size of him was a little bit uncomfortable at first but after about a minute or so, you were ready and gave him the go ahead. He started slowly pulling back out before going almost entirely back in, it was still a little sore but you were sure it would get easier. After a few of these slow thrusts, it started to feel good and some small moans escaped your lips. It appeared that Ben was waiting to make sure you were enjoying it before he allowed himself to experience his own pleasure.  
You couldn’t help but cry out his name as he began to thrust deeper into you, getting slightly more confident with his hip movement. The soreness had practically subsided and you were able to lose yourself in the feeling of Ben hitting you again and again. When you arched your back, he kissed your chest. When you moaned his name, he groaned in response. When you squeezed your thighs around his waist, he shuddered and thrusted harder. It was so passionate, needy even. He was giving you his upmost attention. Sweat began to form and drip down from both of your bodies from the heat between you. You reached a shaking hand up to Ben’s face to push his damp hair aside before pulling him into a somewhat sloppy kiss.  
  
It was still difficult to believe that Ben was touching you this way, you never would have believed it if someone had told the you-of-just-two-hours-ago that this would be happening. He set himself in the rhythm which he found made you moan the loudest, gripping your thighs to steady them once they begun to shake. You wished you could see the image of Ben on top of you more clearly but the darkness allowed you to _feel_ every touch, every graze and every thrust with unmatched intensity. He hit one spot inside of you that caused you to almost choke into the kiss, it was so unbelievably sensitive that you couldn’t process anything for a few seconds. When he continued to keep aiming for that spot, the pressure started to form in your abdomen once again; this time much more strongly than it had done previously. The build up was almost too much as you dragged you nails down Ben’s scarred back, not being able to help yourself. He didn’t seem to mind it, if anything, he was just pleased he was able to make you feel _that_ good. The speed of his thrusts began to pick up and get a little more erratic as you guessed he was starting to get close too.  
‘God…Ben!’ you groaned, your mouth started to dry from the panting. The pounding was driving you insane as you called his name on loop until suddenly the pressure was too much and you let out a broken scream as you came again, shaking somewhat violently underneath him. Ben’s thrusting slowed for a few seconds as he muttered a ‘ _fuck_ ’ under his breath, trying not to finish just yet. However, the sensation of your orgasm was making that incredibly difficult for him.  
Since he was still moving, it prolonged your orgasm until you all but collapsed beneath him with each thrust sending a new wave through your body. When Ben picked up his speed again, it was a rougher, desperate even. You could barely manage more than a small whimper at each new thrust since your mind had gone completely blank from the orgasm. After about another minute or so, Ben let out his loudest groan yet and quickly pulled out of you; finishing down your thigh instead. His breath hitched a couple of times in his throat as he came and you watched as the outline of his shoulders tensed and relaxed. Soon, he rolled off and collapsed in the bed beside you; each of you needing the chance to catch your breath. Ben turned his head to kiss your bare shoulder and in response you moved onto your side to wrap yourself around his one arm.   
‘Ben…’ You whispered.  
‘Yeah?’ He panted. The words were on the very tip of your tongue but you were scared of saying them. They were heavy; you didn’t want to say anything that could ruin the moment and taint the evening that the two of you had shared. And yet, you couldn’t stop yourself:  
‘I think I’ve loved you for a while.’   
He paused for a moment, ‘I think I already knew. I didn’t want to drag anyone into getting involved with me, but I couldn’t stop you from making your way into my head. Everywhere I turned, you were there with open arms. Even when I couldn’t accept myself, you accepted me.’  
The two of you laid there for a while longer exchanging small kisses and pillow talk before you went to get cleaned up, giving Ben a chance to change his sheets since they had gotten too messy to sleep in. It was only when you had gotten to the bathroom that you remembered the dark purple marks Ben had left on your neck. You lightly traced them with your finger, thinking that they were pretty. Whilst you were certain to get some odd looks over them the next day, you were happy to have gotten them. When you returned, he handed you one of his t-shirts to sleep in since you didn’t bring any clothes with you after the party and you quickly slipped it on. Before he put one of his own t-shirts on again, you kissed the scratches you had left down his back, muttering a small apology for them but he kissed your forehead and said not to worry about it because he had gotten ‘much worse’ injuries before. He even let out a little chuckle before suggesting the two of you finally got some sleep. You ended up not spending the night in the spare room Ben had prepared for you at all, but instead in his bed, held safely against him.


End file.
